"It must be difficult".
Those four words we seem to hear every so often. They are spoken by people who upon hearing the news of the journey we are about to walk through; are trying to understand what it would be like.
Sometimes I feel like people expect us to be depressed or continually sad. That's because it's how they believe they would react in similar circumstances which is completely understandable.
The strange thing is that throughout this, I feel like we have been really blessed. It doesn't look like it straight away but we really have. I felt like instead of just sharing with you how Riley is doing (though I will do that don't worry!), I want to share with you the wonderful things that have happened over this short period of time to give you some perspective. Yes this can be difficult and we haven't even gotten to the hardest part yet, but there is also a lot of things to be thankful for already...
We are thankful because we didn't even know if we would have a child in the first place...
Not for a lack of wanting.
Jess had been diagnosed with a condition called Polycystic Ovaries, it meant that our chances of getting pregnant were significantly less than other couples.
Can I share a pearl of wisdom with you? You know that couple who hasn't had kids yet? Don't pester them with questions like "Soooo when are you guys going to have kids??" said in a blissfully unaware tone of voice. Even if it's said with the best of intentions, it's uncomfortable. Especially if they actually really want kids and it's not happening. I have probably done that to countless couples unfortunately, awkward.
We were one of those people and it got harder and harder to put on a happy face for people telling them things like "Oh we will get around to it one day".
But finally after we tried minimal fertility treatment, we fell pregnant within a couple of months. For some people it just doesn't work, they go onto things like IVF and that isn't even a guarantee of pregnancy either. We are thankful we didn't have to go down that road. And we are so thankful that we have been given the opportunity to be parents, we wouldn't trade it for the world.
We are thankful for our faith...
I remember having a conversation in July not too long after we had announced to everyone we were pregnant. It was with someone I had just met, I don't even remember her name. But she said something to me that has helped me so greatly to get through all of this and she probably doesn't even know what an impact it had on me. She said to me "I just really feel to share something with you, throughout all the scares in your pregnancy God's got this. Just keep remembering that God's got this". My initial thought was "Wait what do you mean scares? Can you stop saying the word scares!". At the time I thanked her and then continued on; not thinking too much about it after that. It was only when it became clear what was happening in Riley that one of the first things that came to mind were the words "God's got this". It's given us the strength to keep pushing forward. To not believe the worst but to hope for the best throughout all of this. I don't know how we would have gotten through this without God on our side.
We are thankful that we have been given time to process it all...
We have heard of others in similar situations to us discovering that their baby has a heart defect after birth. It hit us hard when we were first told and that was at the 20 week mark. I cannot possibly imagine how devastating it would have been to discover this after birth. We have had so long to research and plan, to try and fit all of it into such a short time frame would have been chaotic. We have even gotten to a point where we just want to get to Brisbane already and start preparing what will happen once Riley is born. I guess that's what happens when you have the luxury of time on your hands.
We are thankful that we have amazingly supportive people around us...
Say what you want about Mount Isa but it is a fantastic place to live. People here are genuine and have a real sense of community. As soon as we announced it, everyone immediately swarmed us with encouragement and offered to do anything they could to help us. And that included people we haven't even met.
At the Hospital where Jess works, some of the departments worked together on a project called "Riley's Fight". Their goal was to fundraise for our little girl through raffles, morning tea's and lunches. They ended up raising over $7500 (and that included generous donations from the Copper Concentrator Social Club and the Border Ride group). Not only that but Vouchers that we can use while we are in Brisbane on things like books or the movies, a beautiful blanket from Townsville and even a generous donation from a family friend to go toward "Dinner and Dessert".
Alongside all of that, I have been blessed by my work. Six months is a very long time to be away from home and it is practically an eternity when it comes to your job. One of the immediate things we had to figure out was our finance. How would we survive financially with Jess being on maternity leave and i'm not even working. I have heard of families where the wife stayed in brisbane with the baby while the husband had to be back in their hometown working because they simply could not afford for him to not be earning money. We began to consider things like "Would I need to get a part-time job while I am there?", "Would anyone even want to hire a guy who may have to leave at a moments notice depending on how his daughter is doing?", "If I didn't work, would Jess' maternity leave pay be enough to get us by?". Turns out we never needed to discover the answers to any of those questions. My work has made sure that I will be paid while I am away meaning we can just focus on Riley and not worry about how we will make ends meet. It's just one less stress.
They say that difficulty can bring out the best in people, but I like to think that people always have the best within them and they are just waiting for an opportunity to show it. We have seen so much love, support and encouragement from our friends, family, church, work colleagues and even total strangers. You have made us feel so blessed. Thank you.
We are thankful that Riley hasn't had any other surprises so far...
Yesterday we had what was one of our last scans in Mount Isa and Riley is already up to almost 2.7kg. She keeps measuring a week ahead so she is a big baby. Last time we met with our doctor he had concerns that there was too much fluid and it could mean early labor, but today he was actually quite happy with how she has been tracking so wasn't overly concerned. He doesn't even think it's necessary to have another appointment before we leave for Brisbane because it's seems to be an uncomplicated pregnancy (besides the obvious).
In fact if you looked at everything but her heart, you wouldn't be able to tell there was anything wrong. We are thankful that Riley is growing, thriving and succeeding. Sure we are still believing for a miracle to happen with her heart but that doesn't cause us to discount all the many other ways in which she is healthy.
If you are someone who has discovered your baby has been diagnosed with something similar to what Riley has and managed to stumble upon our blog, I want to encourage you. It's not a death sentence, it's not the end of the world either. Even though there will be tears (oh yes there will be lots of that), there will also be laughter and hope too. Don't miss all the good things that are going to happen, even take some time to write them all down. Throughout difficulty amazing things can happen.
I think Martin Luther King Jr said it best when he said "Only in the darkness can you see the stars".
Those four words we seem to hear every so often. They are spoken by people who upon hearing the news of the journey we are about to walk through; are trying to understand what it would be like.
Sometimes I feel like people expect us to be depressed or continually sad. That's because it's how they believe they would react in similar circumstances which is completely understandable.
The strange thing is that throughout this, I feel like we have been really blessed. It doesn't look like it straight away but we really have. I felt like instead of just sharing with you how Riley is doing (though I will do that don't worry!), I want to share with you the wonderful things that have happened over this short period of time to give you some perspective. Yes this can be difficult and we haven't even gotten to the hardest part yet, but there is also a lot of things to be thankful for already...
We are thankful because we didn't even know if we would have a child in the first place...
Not for a lack of wanting.
Jess had been diagnosed with a condition called Polycystic Ovaries, it meant that our chances of getting pregnant were significantly less than other couples.
Can I share a pearl of wisdom with you? You know that couple who hasn't had kids yet? Don't pester them with questions like "Soooo when are you guys going to have kids??" said in a blissfully unaware tone of voice. Even if it's said with the best of intentions, it's uncomfortable. Especially if they actually really want kids and it's not happening. I have probably done that to countless couples unfortunately, awkward.
We were one of those people and it got harder and harder to put on a happy face for people telling them things like "Oh we will get around to it one day".
But finally after we tried minimal fertility treatment, we fell pregnant within a couple of months. For some people it just doesn't work, they go onto things like IVF and that isn't even a guarantee of pregnancy either. We are thankful we didn't have to go down that road. And we are so thankful that we have been given the opportunity to be parents, we wouldn't trade it for the world.
We are thankful for our faith...
I remember having a conversation in July not too long after we had announced to everyone we were pregnant. It was with someone I had just met, I don't even remember her name. But she said something to me that has helped me so greatly to get through all of this and she probably doesn't even know what an impact it had on me. She said to me "I just really feel to share something with you, throughout all the scares in your pregnancy God's got this. Just keep remembering that God's got this". My initial thought was "Wait what do you mean scares? Can you stop saying the word scares!". At the time I thanked her and then continued on; not thinking too much about it after that. It was only when it became clear what was happening in Riley that one of the first things that came to mind were the words "God's got this". It's given us the strength to keep pushing forward. To not believe the worst but to hope for the best throughout all of this. I don't know how we would have gotten through this without God on our side.
We are thankful that we have been given time to process it all...
We have heard of others in similar situations to us discovering that their baby has a heart defect after birth. It hit us hard when we were first told and that was at the 20 week mark. I cannot possibly imagine how devastating it would have been to discover this after birth. We have had so long to research and plan, to try and fit all of it into such a short time frame would have been chaotic. We have even gotten to a point where we just want to get to Brisbane already and start preparing what will happen once Riley is born. I guess that's what happens when you have the luxury of time on your hands.
We are thankful that we have amazingly supportive people around us...
Say what you want about Mount Isa but it is a fantastic place to live. People here are genuine and have a real sense of community. As soon as we announced it, everyone immediately swarmed us with encouragement and offered to do anything they could to help us. And that included people we haven't even met.
At the Hospital where Jess works, some of the departments worked together on a project called "Riley's Fight". Their goal was to fundraise for our little girl through raffles, morning tea's and lunches. They ended up raising over $7500 (and that included generous donations from the Copper Concentrator Social Club and the Border Ride group). Not only that but Vouchers that we can use while we are in Brisbane on things like books or the movies, a beautiful blanket from Townsville and even a generous donation from a family friend to go toward "Dinner and Dessert".
Alongside all of that, I have been blessed by my work. Six months is a very long time to be away from home and it is practically an eternity when it comes to your job. One of the immediate things we had to figure out was our finance. How would we survive financially with Jess being on maternity leave and i'm not even working. I have heard of families where the wife stayed in brisbane with the baby while the husband had to be back in their hometown working because they simply could not afford for him to not be earning money. We began to consider things like "Would I need to get a part-time job while I am there?", "Would anyone even want to hire a guy who may have to leave at a moments notice depending on how his daughter is doing?", "If I didn't work, would Jess' maternity leave pay be enough to get us by?". Turns out we never needed to discover the answers to any of those questions. My work has made sure that I will be paid while I am away meaning we can just focus on Riley and not worry about how we will make ends meet. It's just one less stress.
They say that difficulty can bring out the best in people, but I like to think that people always have the best within them and they are just waiting for an opportunity to show it. We have seen so much love, support and encouragement from our friends, family, church, work colleagues and even total strangers. You have made us feel so blessed. Thank you.
We are thankful that Riley hasn't had any other surprises so far...
Yesterday we had what was one of our last scans in Mount Isa and Riley is already up to almost 2.7kg. She keeps measuring a week ahead so she is a big baby. Last time we met with our doctor he had concerns that there was too much fluid and it could mean early labor, but today he was actually quite happy with how she has been tracking so wasn't overly concerned. He doesn't even think it's necessary to have another appointment before we leave for Brisbane because it's seems to be an uncomplicated pregnancy (besides the obvious).
In fact if you looked at everything but her heart, you wouldn't be able to tell there was anything wrong. We are thankful that Riley is growing, thriving and succeeding. Sure we are still believing for a miracle to happen with her heart but that doesn't cause us to discount all the many other ways in which she is healthy.
If you are someone who has discovered your baby has been diagnosed with something similar to what Riley has and managed to stumble upon our blog, I want to encourage you. It's not a death sentence, it's not the end of the world either. Even though there will be tears (oh yes there will be lots of that), there will also be laughter and hope too. Don't miss all the good things that are going to happen, even take some time to write them all down. Throughout difficulty amazing things can happen.
I think Martin Luther King Jr said it best when he said "Only in the darkness can you see the stars".
Hi Sean and Jess, I would like to say a prayer.
ReplyDeleteFather God,
I declare HEALING in the name of Jesus Christ!
We thank you for this family who belong to you. We thank you for the honour it is to call you dad,
We thank you that mountains will be moved, we thank you lord that you lead and guide this family as they commit everything into your hands. We thank you for the faith to believe for this miracle as you are the God f the impossible so make the impossible, possible. Let this not just be a statement but a walking declaration of your amazing love. Let this story bring hope to others so that you can show yourself mightily and that you really do care. Lord bless this family for their faithfulness and hank you for baby Riley, and that you never leave her side, only you know her heart because you created it. We thank you that she reflects your beauty Lord, and how much of a blessing she is. We thank you that sickness and infirmity has no place, no authority and by the stripes of Jesus she was healed!
Sean and Jess, rejoice! in God's eyes Riley is WHOLE! Get a vision of life no longer in the hospitals but at the park on the swings, having food fights, and most of all cuddles. Don't listen to bad report, because God says different, declare healing, declare victory and Be blessed because we serve a mighty God, and he is the God of the impossible. I pray for a revelation of power and authority in your lives and I pray God shows himself to you both in a way you have never known before. Amen!